Farmer 1: $5.15 a bushell! $5.15! Shit!
Farmer Brother: So no lobster buffet tonight?
-- Holiday Inn Express lobby tv
Monday, August 11, 2008
Monday, June 23, 2008
Dead! or Alive?
Husky Guy 1: Did you hear George Carlin died?
Guy 2: What? No, I guess his 8 o'clock show is canceled then.
Husky: Yeah, sucks.
--Plainsman Pancake House
Guy 2: What? No, I guess his 8 o'clock show is canceled then.
Husky: Yeah, sucks.
--Plainsman Pancake House
Saturday, May 3, 2008
Blossoms, no bosoms
Lady 1: Did you see that the girl from Blossom is doing a country concert tonight?
Lady 2: You mean like Blossom?
Lady 1: Well... no, I think its her friend... Six? Apparently she, well whoever she really is, recorded an album and she's playing Branson tonight.
Lady 2: Huh, I mean, fun? I think I'd prefer a stone fruit's blossom over Blossom's Six. At least a flower exudes sex appeal.
Lady 1: So no Six appeal?
-riverwalk
Lady 2: You mean like Blossom?
Lady 1: Well... no, I think its her friend... Six? Apparently she, well whoever she really is, recorded an album and she's playing Branson tonight.
Lady 2: Huh, I mean, fun? I think I'd prefer a stone fruit's blossom over Blossom's Six. At least a flower exudes sex appeal.
Lady 1: So no Six appeal?
-riverwalk
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
Why?
Midwestern Woman 1: Oh! mmmm... Cinnabon! I just didn't ever think there would be one here, lil' ol' Branson. Sure wasn't here last time, or was it Bill?
"Bill": No. If you go, don't get the roll, get the stix.
Woman: Ok, why?
"Bill": Because I don't want your sticky hands in the vanagon, and... I like to watch you dip.
--outside Cinnabon
"Bill": No. If you go, don't get the roll, get the stix.
Woman: Ok, why?
"Bill": Because I don't want your sticky hands in the vanagon, and... I like to watch you dip.
--outside Cinnabon
Thursday, February 7, 2008
Super-duper Tuesday
Regular Joe: [reading a text message] We just got Obama'd!
Average Joe: They bombed Missouri?! Where?!
Regular Joe: Oh gosh no, Obama won Missouri!
Average Joe: Ah, much better.
- Main St
Average Joe: They bombed Missouri?! Where?!
Regular Joe: Oh gosh no, Obama won Missouri!
Average Joe: Ah, much better.
- Main St
Sunday, February 3, 2008
Who CAN remember
Twenty-Something: Whoa, I can remember Pigeon Forge, you know Dollywood and all, but Branson is just a blur!
-Sidewalk after the Jim Stafford show released
-Sidewalk after the Jim Stafford show released
Thursday, January 31, 2008
Elderly Man #1: Oh really, Olivia and I met on eharmony too.
Elderly Man #2: Well yeah, I'm a widower, she's a widow. We really love each other. Its the best thing thats happened to me with the internets.
Elderly Man #1: Yeah, and to think I was reluctant about the video professor, but if it wasn't for him, I never would have known how to use the internet. Lucky for me, Olivia is a whiz. She's always emailing and going to the youtube and all kinds of things. I learned eharmony and forgot the rest.
-Pointe Royale Golf Course, Hole 12, Cart 17.
Elderly Man #2: Well yeah, I'm a widower, she's a widow. We really love each other. Its the best thing thats happened to me with the internets.
Elderly Man #1: Yeah, and to think I was reluctant about the video professor, but if it wasn't for him, I never would have known how to use the internet. Lucky for me, Olivia is a whiz. She's always emailing and going to the youtube and all kinds of things. I learned eharmony and forgot the rest.
-Pointe Royale Golf Course, Hole 12, Cart 17.
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