Harpo Harpoon

Teen reading a flyer for the opera: What?!! We're going to go see Oprah!

Adult shaking head: No... just... no.


-In front of Charles Whitmore Jenkins School of the Arts

Flash in a Pan

A Person: Ain't these the things that use to make crack?

B Person: No, that's a triple-beam balance.


-Dollar Balances and Curtain Emposium, Arnold Chiussip Blvd.

Geography > Anatomy

Girl 1: Ah shit!

Adult: Hey, watch your language.

Girl 1: Oh, no I said clit (sic). You know, like on the side of a mountain; a clit.

Girl 2: Yeah, she said cliff.


- Plato's Front Porch, behind the Golden Corral.

H1N'hell no!

Yokel- You know the best thing about Branson these days? You don't have to worry about swine flu.

College Grad- Really?

Yokel- Yeah man. Its safe here AND they're taking every precaution. Like that place we ate at for lunch... NO ham, no pork. They just stuck to the other deli meats. Its safe here, ya know?

College Grad- That was a kosher deli. And seriously, swine flu? That fad passed man.


-Where else but the deli

I'd pay more for Palin

Guy with creepier friend: What's the deal with all that lipstick mumbo jumbo from the past couple weeks? Palin says it, Obama says it, McCain complains about it. All this talk about lipstick and pigs and pit bulls just reminds me of bad high school memories... well memories.


-where else but the river

aMAIZ(E)ing

Farmer 1: $5.15 a bushell! $5.15! Shit!

Farmer Brother: So no lobster buffet tonight?


-- Holiday Inn Express lobby tv

Dead! or Alive?

Husky Guy 1: Did you hear George Carlin died?

Guy 2: What? No, I guess his 8 o'clock show is canceled then.

Husky: Yeah, sucks.


--Plainsman Pancake House