Kwhatever

Girl: My name ain't Kwhoa-neesha!

Adult: yeah, but how else to i tell the difference between my 3 Kwa-nee-shas.

-sidewalken

happy thanksgiving!

stressed guy: ... like a jack-a-lope f'ing a toy escalator!


????????

- riverside bench

Harpo Harpoon

Teen reading a flyer for the opera: What?!! We're going to go see Oprah!

Adult shaking head: No... just... no.


-In front of Charles Whitmore Jenkins School of the Arts

Flash in a Pan

A Person: Ain't these the things that use to make crack?

B Person: No, that's a triple-beam balance.


-Dollar Balances and Curtain Emposium, Arnold Chiussip Blvd.

Geography > Anatomy

Girl 1: Ah shit!

Adult: Hey, watch your language.

Girl 1: Oh, no I said clit (sic). You know, like on the side of a mountain; a clit.

Girl 2: Yeah, she said cliff.


- Plato's Front Porch, behind the Golden Corral.

H1N'hell no!

Yokel- You know the best thing about Branson these days? You don't have to worry about swine flu.

College Grad- Really?

Yokel- Yeah man. Its safe here AND they're taking every precaution. Like that place we ate at for lunch... NO ham, no pork. They just stuck to the other deli meats. Its safe here, ya know?

College Grad- That was a kosher deli. And seriously, swine flu? That fad passed man.


-Where else but the deli

I'd pay more for Palin

Guy with creepier friend: What's the deal with all that lipstick mumbo jumbo from the past couple weeks? Palin says it, Obama says it, McCain complains about it. All this talk about lipstick and pigs and pit bulls just reminds me of bad high school memories... well memories.


-where else but the river

aMAIZ(E)ing

Farmer 1: $5.15 a bushell! $5.15! Shit!

Farmer Brother: So no lobster buffet tonight?


-- Holiday Inn Express lobby tv

Dead! or Alive?

Husky Guy 1: Did you hear George Carlin died?

Guy 2: What? No, I guess his 8 o'clock show is canceled then.

Husky: Yeah, sucks.


--Plainsman Pancake House

Blossoms, no bosoms

Lady 1: Did you see that the girl from Blossom is doing a country concert tonight?

Lady 2: You mean like Blossom?

Lady 1: Well... no, I think its her friend... Six? Apparently she, well whoever she really is, recorded an album and she's playing Branson tonight.

Lady 2: Huh, I mean, fun? I think I'd prefer a stone fruit's blossom over Blossom's Six. At least a flower exudes sex appeal.

Lady 1: So no Six appeal?


-riverwalk

Why?

Midwestern Woman 1: Oh! mmmm... Cinnabon! I just didn't ever think there would be one here, lil' ol' Branson. Sure wasn't here last time, or was it Bill?

"Bill": No. If you go, don't get the roll, get the stix.

Woman: Ok, why?

"Bill": Because I don't want your sticky hands in the vanagon, and... I like to watch you dip.


--outside Cinnabon

Super-duper Tuesday

Regular Joe: [reading a text message] We just got Obama'd!

Average Joe: They bombed Missouri?! Where?!

Regular Joe: Oh gosh no, Obama won Missouri!

Average Joe: Ah, much better.


- Main St

Who CAN remember

Twenty-Something: Whoa, I can remember Pigeon Forge, you know Dollywood and all, but Branson is just a blur!


-Sidewalk after the Jim Stafford show released

Elderly Man #1: Oh really, Olivia and I met on eharmony too.

Elderly Man #2: Well yeah, I'm a widower, she's a widow. We really love each other. Its the best thing thats happened to me with the internets.

Elderly Man #1: Yeah, and to think I was reluctant about the video professor, but if it wasn't for him, I never would have known how to use the internet. Lucky for me, Olivia is a whiz. She's always emailing and going to the youtube and all kinds of things. I learned eharmony and forgot the rest.


-Pointe Royale Golf Course, Hole 12, Cart 17.

Whose Hughes

30-something #1: You feel like seeing The Hughes Brothers tomorrow?

30-something #2: Who in the wide world of Branson are The Hughes Brothers?

30-something #1: You know, they're a family show, like The Osmonds, but without the innuendo. I mean, they're not as ambitious as The Plan, but they're definitely bigger.

Forging some fighting words

Brother 1: Did you hear those people talking about Pigeon Forge? I can't believe they think its better than here.

Brother 2: Yeah, Pigeon Forge doesn't have birdseed on Branson. Case in point... YAKOV!

Brother 1: Definitely. Anyway, we're going to be late for Dolly Parton's Dixie Stampede Dinner and Show. I love this town.

Brother 2: Wait... eh, nevermind.


-- Promenade Way, Branson Landing.

Its not '57 anymore, even at The '57

Mother: Wow... he sounds just like ol' Deano.

Little girl: He's not a dinosaur, he's a singer.

Mother: [chuckles] I meant Dean Martin. He was a famous singer.

Little girl: Oh, well I like dinosaurs, but he's OK.


-- Club '57, Bob Anderson 5:00 p.m. show

The Forum

This blog is to serve as a forum for the voices of Branson, Missouri, so as to let the people of this great nation and great world share their experiences in our fair city. Lets share the Spirit of Branson!